Dear Abby

A grieving mother read my blog within the last year and later invited me to read what she writes to her daughter, Ava. Today, that friend in grief inspired me to join her in writing to the famed columnist, "Dear Abby" about her response to Crystal, a frustrated family member who doesn't understand why her … Continue reading Dear Abby

I will make a note.

I went to the dermatologist for a yearly appointment last week.  I was acutely aware that one year prior I was sitting in their office many weeks pregnant at my first appointment.  I had undressed and covered myself with the provided 'sheet' - really just a thin 3x3 foot piece of paper.  30 pounds heavier, … Continue reading I will make a note.

What is secondary loss?

I hadn't heard of secondary loss until I read this article.  I felt it and was experiencing it, but didn't know it had a name.  Recently, I said out loud, "I'm just always disappointed.  Constant disappointment is what my life is made up of now.  It started with the death of Oliver and it hasn't … Continue reading What is secondary loss?


Shortly after Oliver died I went online to read other women's stories, to educate myself on preeclampsia, late-term perinatal death, rates of stillborn deaths, to read blogs, websites, to seek organizations and walks to raise money...and I haven't stopped since.  A quest to find answers and reading all things related to baby death to make myself … Continue reading Resources

Poop, giggles, and showers.

Today, I imagined the strangest, sweetest thing.  First, I was remembering that my dear friend, Rebecca, was telling me, gingerly, that she had many, many baby items stored away in a corner of her basement and that even though she and her husband desperately wanted to clean out the clutter in their new home, some … Continue reading Poop, giggles, and showers.

Oliver’s sister or brother is off limits.

Two months ago a woman from work asked me how I had been feeling.  When I told her, "like shit", her discomfort was palpable. She quickly changed the subject to happier, brighter topics, "Well, I hope you and Steve try again! I'm really hoping you try again! Are you going to try again?!"  I was … Continue reading Oliver’s sister or brother is off limits.